My Children I

Life in coastal town in the east is pretty dull, monsoon season all the year around, and when the sun shine, the sea is so marvelous, peaceful and indulge you.
The wind, sometimes whispers in your ears, while in the rainy season the gust scares you, especialy when the storm & linghtning escort it. It shiver to your bone merow.
I am frustrated and very sad for the incident occurred. While everything is not in place and unstable, I learnt that the only person whom I have raised since child, despite all the negativeness and provocations, he, finally, resent me.
I was proud of him, still am, when I observed him ( from a distance after the tragedy) this uncircumstances  truth prevail.
Its all because of a  series of messages and whats apps that I sent to him , in which I know,  I wasn't suppose to do, because of the consequences that would occur as a result.
And now,  Allah pays cash for all the mistakes and all the worldly sins that one have done. People learnt from their mistakes, I guess I did not.
I never ment it to be that way, it was all out of sincerity and love, Isn't that What RasulAllah PBUH promoted 1400 yrs ago.Even The All Mighty GOD's is all Grace and Mercy.
But I am only one of the billions of souls created and placed on this old earth with each fate and own  pathway written for, long before he / she were brought down to this world.
No individual, personality, or charactor is Ma'sum ( do not do anything wrong at all, ever).
His name means a wise ( in Arabic) and intelligent, a name if knowledge, I am fortunate to have someone like him as a stepson.
Yes, his father left him when he was just a little boy and I took the resposibility ever since.
I my self fathered 5 children.though for only a brief ten years, they say " blood is thicker than water", I agree,  a bad blood with bad background is not a criteria to produce bad and civilised & uneducated breeds.
" every child was born like a white sheet of cloth, its up to the parents to draw the colours & pattern on it, raise the child and determine his or her future, either to be a Muslim or a Jew.
I want to talk about a lot of things to my children, be it my own or not.
Topics like #Divinity, #Wisdom, #Understanding #Quran and it relevency with life. If I have  that chance, but it has been wasted,  and time can never be unwind or rerun.
Regret is never an option when you have made mistakes, chosed and took the wrong steps and turn, but Allah has given you minds & heart, freedom to choose wisely, the opportunity  to  repent and never repeat the same mistake again, what has been done  is gone, its what you do to repair the damages and do it correctly.
We, tend to blame someone else for the outcome of our own wrong doing wether we did it purposes or not.
Favouritism, is not wrong, The Prophet S.A.W loved  Sayidetina Aisyah  more then anybody , but he repented. its all depends on your intention.
As for me and this one, I can only say that I am not angry at him, instead, I have forgiven and try to swallow the uneasy. Its the other way around to be frank, in spite of we make peace and reconcile, laying our card of inner truth, we depart even more, go our own way. 
I treat my Children fairly, although I miss my own more, who wouldn't ? Come on, they are my flesh and I rarely have the opportunity to meet them since we were separated srventeen years ago.my youngest son is almost twenty one years old.
I keep reminding myself, whenever I feel that I have gone off track or  feeling down.
My regrets are not having all the memories that I should have had and share with them like any other normal father with five growing up kids.#Noradziah #Hakeem #Ivan #Amy #Ayih.
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